


Back to Me

by makeitmine



Category: Glee
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3163139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makeitmine/pseuds/makeitmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's more to Blaine than his lost relationship, and it's time for him to discover that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loser Like Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be one of two ongoing stories, filling in some of these final moments on the show and giving the boys the chance to work out what is happening in their minds.
> 
> Here's the thing, though...outside of what has aired, I am spoiler-free about everything else this season. So if you know, PLEASE do not tell me! I knew the breakup was coming, and I knew Blainofsky was on. And with four months to wait, I knew I wanted to be able to enjoy everything as it airs, not ages beforehand.
> 
> For Kurt's story, please go [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3163100).
> 
> Yes, there is a brief allusion to self-harm in this one, but I'm hoping just in this chapter.

He’s finally feeling alive again.

For months he’s been Blaine Anderson, failure at love and college. He lost the one person who’s made him complete, and in turn he lost all of his dreams: a wedding, a successful Broadway career, being the toast of New York. He’s felt the judging eyes of his parents with every move he makes. He’s also fairly certain some of the residents of Lima are whispering behind his back, “Hey, isn’t that the kid who proposed to Burt Hummel’s son and now they’re broken up for the second time in two years? What a loser.”

It’s been a long road these past four months. His mother spent weeks begging him to start visiting Amy again. She helped Blaine for a few months after the beating, while he adjusted to his new life. It wasn’t until a thought hit him while shaving one evening (and curse his insane hair that he has to do it more than once a day when he’s not even twenty) that he knew he was in too deep to get out on his own and needed her guidance.

Summer was...weird, to say the least. Some of his friends came and went, briefly stopping by while Blaine put on his best face and accepted their condolences on this breakup. Sam attempted to plan a trip to Chicago for a Marvel exhibit going on, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to spend five hours in a car with his best friend. And by the time his medications kicked in, McKinley football training camp had commenced and Sam no longer had any free time.

No Kurt. No Rachel. No Sam. Blaine was alone.

He still doesn’t know what drove him to go to Scandals that night. It must have been out of a need for conversation with someone who isn’t still lamenting the loss of his own relationship. But Blaine showed up, chuckling as the bouncer welcomed him to Country Bear Night, and he found a very familiar face.

Blaine connects with Dave in a different way. They have similar interests--Kurt and football, mainly. He’s studying at OSU-Lima, so he promises not to leave Blaine when everyone else does. Things are good with them. He never fathomed having a relationship with someone like this, but it’s happening, and he’s going with the flow and hoping it will help him get over Kurt.

Spoiler alert: Blaine will never get over Kurt.

Late August brought about a Warbler reunion. He missed it last year, as his NYADA orientation fell the same week, but he decided to go and spend some time with some people he missed. Or at least the ones who weren’t consistently asking why Kurt didn’t come with him--namely Trent and Jeff. Blaine was beyond relieved to discover Sebastian chose a Mediterranean beach over the meet-up. He ended up talking to Wes for over an hour and opening up about everything. A huge weight lifted off his shoulders, and he suddenly found he could breathe again.

The next morning Wes called about an opportunity he discovered, knowing Blaine was exactly the man for the job. Walking those halls again, in a different blazer, is calming. He’s always loved helping others even at his lowest, and he believes this group has what it takes to get to Nationals. They could even be better than the group he led when he was just sixteen and smitten with his first love.

Amy asked Blaine at his latest appointment to identify himself now as compared to when he first stepped into her office. He can see through the fog and understand who he is now. He’s Blaine Devon Anderson: musician, adviser of the Dalton Academy Warblers, son, and friend. He’s no longer going to let his relationship status define his life.

And then a text he never expected arrives. _Hey, I’m in Lima for a little bit. Do you want to get together to talk?_


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An awkward date is made more awkward when Blaine sees Kurt.

“You know what’s funny?” Dave asks as he’s smoothing out the blankets in the tailgate.

Blaine looks up at him. “What’s that?”

“You’re the one who graduated from here; I didn’t. Yet I asked if you wanted to come with me tonight.”

It is quite ironic, especially looking back to when the two of them first met, back when Blaine hoped to be a savior for Ku--

 _Stop thinking about him,_ he scolds himself in his head. _You’re on a date, enjoy it and forget about these past few months._

He hesitates to use the word _boyfriend_ when it comes to his and Dave’s relationship. Dave understands that Blaine wants to take things slow, not define themselves as anything until they feel the need to. Other than a three-month thing with a guy in his calculus class last fall and the cover-up with Santana leading up to prom, Dave is fairly inexperienced at dating. Not that Blaine has much of a leg up on him, of course, but he’s more there in regards to having someone special in his life.

Once he has everything set, Dave take the cooler from Blaine’s hand before helping him up into the tailgate. They pull a couple beers and the cheese plate out of the cooler and settle in, waiting for the festivities to begin. After a few minutes, Dave breaks the silence. “I wish I wasn’t such an asshole back then.”

“No, don’t apologize for that,” Blaine says.

“I threatened Kurt’s life. I couldn’t handle how I felt so I took everything out on someone who did. Then he brought you around, and I laughed off how you tried to help me out.” Dave reaches across and squeezes Blaine’s free hand. “If only I had accepted myself back then, maybe we could have been friends earlier.”

He looks into Dave’s earnest, caring eyes. “Everyone comes to terms at different times. I shouldn’t have pushed for you to. I was too interested in helping a new friend out that I was an idiot to ask you to come out.”

“You must have hated me.”

Blaine shakes his head. “No, never. We may have had some issues back then, and I wasn’t entirely happy with the fact that you were the one who encouraged Kurt to return to McKinley, but I never hated you.”

It’s one thing Amy says is good about Blaine, that he doesn’t hate people. He doesn’t hate his tormentors for running him out of his first high school. He doesn’t hate his grandparents for refusing to accept him and asking when he’ll find a good girl. He doesn’t hate Kurt for shattering his life. All of those are much more severe than what Dave did.

Dave scoots closer and slinks an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “You’re way too good of a guy, B.”

He bites his lip as he watches so many of his friends appear to start the bonfire. Rachel mentioned they were in town, and she had employed their resources to rekindle the New Directions. He hasn’t spoken to many of them since the breakup--just Rachel, Sam, and Tina a couple of times on the phone while she stayed in Rhode Island for the summer. They may not even know he’s here, even though he was one of them. It hurts, a little, that they probably all view Blaine as the ‘enemy’ now that he’s working with the Warblers.

He looks again as Jane--talented, determined, social-bending Jane--comes out. She’s with the kid Rachel and Kurt were speaking two on stage, and a couple Cheerios who look like they’re siblings. These must be the New Directions. It’s going to be interesting to see if they can find enough people to compete, the way Sue is against them already. But he’s looking forward to the rivalry starting back up and he wishes the best for them.

As the fireworks begin to shoot off Dave comes even closer. Blaine smiles at him as he grins up at the sight, enthralled by the colors and sounds. He looks happy in the now, and it’s something Blaine is trying to work on. He looks back to the fire and locks eyes with Kurt.

It’s hard, much harder than he thought it would be. Every day his heart yearns to reach out, to accept Kurt’s challenge to win him back. But it can’t happen. Blaine can’t turn into that guy again, the one who is so dependent on the love of his life. He’s worked with Amy to recover, to deal with his depression in a healthy manner and accept himself. Going back...well, not only would it regress him back to the past three years, but it would break another heart. And he can’t do that to Dave when things between them are working so well.

Blaine turns away. Kurt will always be the love of his life, but right now he needs the time to enjoy his life.


	3. Jagged Little Tapestry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine discusses his week with his therapist.

“Hi, Blaine,” Amy greets him as he steps into her office. “How are you doing today?”

He smiles, hanging his blazer and bag up on the coat rack next to the door. “I’m pretty good. And you?”

“Wonderful. Go ahead and have a seat and we’ll get started.” She grabs her notepad and steps away from the desk, settling into a giant leather armchair in the corner of the room. Blaine sits on the couch, crossing his legs and turning his attention towards her. “So, how has this week been, Blaine?” she asks.

“It’s been--interesting, to say the least,” he replies. “Dave and I are moving in together.”

Amy’s eyebrow raises above her tortoiseshell frames. “Really? You haven’t been seeing him very long, if I recall.”

Blaine shakes his head. “No, just a few weeks.”

“This seems to be a sudden arrangement. Was this Dave’s idea?”

He sits up straighter, nodding slightly. “Pretty much, yeah. I promised my parents I wouldn’t stay with them long, and I started searching for apartments right before the school year began. But then I started worrying about being alone. I’ve never lived without anyone else. It was always my parents and Cooper, and then when I moved to New York I moved right in with Kurt, Rachel, and Santana. Even when we decided to take a step back and live apart, Sam and I went to Mercedes’ new place.”

“So this goes back to your feelings of abandonment?”

“Yeah.”

It’s not something he likes to freely admit, even to someone as encouraging towards his openness as Amy. Blaine knows it’s one of the prime elements that led to both breakups--Kurt did abandon him, and he was so terrified it would happen again. But it feels like people always do, from his father’s inherent distance when he came out to Cooper’s refusal to leave LA for years to visit his younger brother. Sometimes Blaine analyzes what he’s done to deserve it; it’s a bad habit he’s really trying to get out of.

Amy jots some words down on her notepad and looks up at him. “If you were scared of feeling alone, why didn’t you ask Sam to move in with you?”

“I...I don’t know. I never thought of asking him.” Everything has been so insane lately he hasn’t had much of a chance to spend time with Sam alone. He’s a terrible friend.

“Blaine, I’m proud you’re recognizing where you may have a potential problem, but I don’t know if moving in with your boyfriend so soon into your relationship is a good idea. What will happen when you and Dave get into an argument or break up?”

“We’ll handle that when it happens,” he snaps.

“When?” Amy questions.

“I…I mean,” Blaine stutters, fidgeting and fixing his bow tie--navy and red today, to go with the Warblers’ performance for the student body earlier in the day, “I mean, you know, if we happen to break up.”

“But you’re already certain you will.”

He thinks about it. He likes their camaraderie, their enjoyment of things, but there are certain actions Dave does, certain words he says that have already irritated Blaine a little. He thinks back to the night before, running into Kurt at Between the Sheets and how clingy Dave felt then. It put him off.

It’s probably why he spent the rest of the evening reminiscing about Kurt.

“I don’t know,” he finally says.

Amy sets her notepad on the end table next to her chair and slips her glasses off. “Blaine, what do you want out of your relationship with Dave?”

Blaine shrugs. “Probably the same things people always want from their significant others: appreciation, understanding, and communication.”

“What about love? Do you think you can love him?”

He answers almost too quickly to be believable to even himself. “Of course I do.”

Amy nods. “Okay, Blaine. I know you mean well with your relationship, but I think you’re hoping for more than he can possibly give you. He isn’t Kurt, I know, and he’ll never be. But I believe you’re projecting some of your residual hurt into wanting to be with someone, anyone, even if you aren’t a hundred percent comfortable with where you two stand.” She scoots up to the edge of her chair. “I’m not saying you should break up with Dave; I do not interfere with relationships. However, I would like for you to consider how you feel. You just came out of a broken engagement that you’re still hurting from, and here you are moving in with your new boyfriend. Is this the correct move for you?”

“Okay,” Blaine says. Not many people know about their place--his parents, of course, and the Karofskys. And somehow when they drove down south to Ikea they ran into Brittany and she figured it out, and now she’s decorating the place for them. But Blaine doesn’t want the judgment of others, least of all Kurt, when they hear.

Everything still reverts back to Kurt. He knows Amy means well, and she’s trying to get him to be more independent. But how can he do that when the man he saw spending forever with has reentered his life? Getting over this is not going the way he planned.

“Anyway,” Amy says, changing topics, “how has work been this past week?”

Blaine grins. “Wonderful!” He discusses the Warblers’ assembly performance that afternoon and briefly goes on about the final results of Jane’s audition. The more he speaks about them, the more he notices Amy smiling as she writes.

“You’ve really taken to this job, haven’t you?” she asks when he finishes.

“I guess. My motto has always been that I want to make art and help people; I can do both this way.”

“Do you wonder if maybe, when you’re ready to return to the academic world, you would pursue teaching?”

Blaine hesitates before he replies. “It’s...I don’t know, really,” he says softly. “Um, Kurt’s stepbrother, right before he passed away, he’d just started taking classes to be a teacher after he helped us out that year. I’ve always considered it, just in case Broadway didn’t work out…”

“But your dream isn’t fully extinguished.”

“You’re right, it isn’t.” Although he wonders if failing out of NYADA could have blacklisted him from every stage. “I don’t want to step on Finn’s memory, though.”

“I’m sure Finn would be honored to see you following the same commitment he agreed to,” Amy says. “Were you two close?”

“We had our share of ups and downs, battling for the same solos. But we got along great. He...he was one of Kurt’s and my biggest supporters.”

“Then I stand by my words, Blaine. I would definitely start looking into colleges that interest you with a strong music education program. Who knows, maybe you’ll be finished and employed somewhere when my daughter enters high school?”

Blaine blushes. “We’ll see what happens,” he says.

The phone on Amy’s desk buzzes, interrupting their conversation. She excuses herself to answer it. “This is Dr. Warren...yes, Samantha...yes, as soon as I finish with my client I can come.” She hangs up and sighs. “Blaine, I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cut our session short, I have another patient who was admitted into Lima General.”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” Blaine says. He stands up and makes his way to the coat rack. “Same time next week?”

“Of course. Don’t forget about the things we discussed today.”

He smiles and waves to Amy as he departs. Stepping outside of the practice, into the warm early fall day, he knows he has some things to decide; first and foremost, how he’s going to be able to fully move on from Kurt and accept what he has with Dave, no matter how problematic it seems to be. Because he doesn’t want to break another heart so soon.


	4. The Hurt Locker, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's moving on, and Blaine takes a step backwards.

In two years of attending McKinley, the walk to Blaine’s car has never felt as long as it does right now.

He thinks it’s because of how downright _weird_ this entire week has been. First was Sam coming to ask if he’d give piano lessons for him and Rachel. Sam has never had any interest in learning something that isn’t the guitar, to Blaine’s recollection. Their entire exchange felt fishy, especially with Sam’s glazed-over look (though Blaine is sure that’s from taking over all the football duties while Coach Beiste is on leave). Then there was the whole mess at Breadstix--and okay, he knew going into this that he wasn’t quite Dave’s type, but seeing all his past flings put a damper on the evening before Sue’s little revelation.

Kurt’s revelation, though. He never saw that coming.

Blaine wonders what has changed in the weeks since “I’m here to win you back”. Kurt Hummel does not give up on his desires, no matter how challenging it can be to achieve them. Part of Blaine expected a battle between Kurt and Dave for his heart. And despite his insistence on trying to live without Kurt, he doesn’t know who he would choose if it came to that.

He’s happy, of course. He knows Kurt dated a British NYADA student during their first breakup, going on for several more weeks after that exhilarating night at the Hilton after Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury’s non-wedding. He’s never asked for the details--how far they went, whether they did the things Kurt looked forward to when Blaine came to the city. Blaine only discovered they ended it minutes before their own reconciliation that fueled his grand proposal, and that’s all the extent to which he wishes to know about their relationship.

Now is going to be different. There’s no longer 600 miles separating them, and the potential of running into each other on a date is much higher in Lima than it would be in New York. He could easily walk into Breadstix for some food and run into Kurt and his date, enjoying each other...feeding each other cheesecake...falling in love…

God, what if Kurt falls for the guy and decides he’s the one? That’s Blaine’s position.

Was. Not is.

Blaine is so fucked.

He climbs into his car and plugs his phone in to start some tunes for the drive home. Since their new apartment is closer to Wapakoneta than Lima and they’re trying to adjust their finances, he and Dave usually try to carpool to Dalton and OSU’s extension campus. However, Dave’s study group for his Microbiology class is meeting in the evening, so it made more sense for them to drive separately this morning. Blaine feels better about it now, as he can use his solitary time to not think about Kurt.

The first song that shuffles on is an Ed Sheeran tune off his new album. It’s been something that has gotten him through the worst in recent months, a good album with excellent upbeat songs to keep him going. This one, however, is much slower, and he hasn’t gotten to listen to it much.

It turns out to be a terrible choice.

_When your legs don't work like they used to before  
And I can't sweep you off of your feet  
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?  
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

_And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're seventy_

The tears start before he reaches the onramp to I-75. Blaine hates this; he wants to be over Kurt so badly. He thought he was on the way, focusing on working with the Warblers and entering into this relationship with Dave. Then, lo and behold, Kurt waltzes in to try to fix everything, to mend the fragile strings barely holding Blaine’s heart together since that night. Every neuron fires off, willing to reach for Kurt the moment they’re in a room together, and it takes everything within Blaine to stop himself from going back into that painful memory.

He’s grown these past few months, since returning to Lima. He can see himself now, and he feels more comfortable and happier each morning. He has a good job, he has a good boyfriend. But he still wants the love of his life, no matter how troubling that could be.

He turns into the apartment complex, pulls to a stop near their door, and wipes his eyes. Blaine can do this. He can see Kurt with another man and not wish everything was fixed between them. Because that’s what adults do, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song mentioned in the story is "Thinking Out Loud" by Ed Sheeran, and I'm ready to hear Darren cover it at some point.


	5. The Hurt Locker, Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a guy to do after he realizes he's head over heels in love with his ex-fiance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit late, I had some personal things going on this past weekend that left me in a bad headspace for writing.  
> Warning for the use of antidepressants in this chapter.

When Blaine finally arrives home after the invitational ends, he wants to do nothing but sleep for three days. Just cut himself off from the rest of the world, curl up under his comforter (the one from his parents’ house--he’s not entirely sure Brittany’s choice of bedding can be comforting at a time like this), and resume being a contributing member of society when Monday rolls around.

He drapes his bag around his desk chair before slipping into the bathroom. He slides the medicine cabinet open to pull out a small orange bottle. Missing this morning has probably contributed to the overwhelming emotions Blaine is going through, so he opens the bottle and taps a white pill into his hand. He turns the tap on to fill up the tumbler setting on the edge of the sink, then pops the pill into his mouth and downs it in one gulp of water. After he pours the rest of the water out and turns the faucet off, he undoes his bowtie and pads over to the tub to draw a steaming shower. Day-old hair gel is not a good look on him.

The shower does nothing to calm his brain. The anxiety that has been prickling since the moment the doors locked him and Kurt into that confined space is now at the forefront. There is so much that is bothering him that otherwise he could deal with, but not all at once.

The first issue is with the Warblers’ placement. Since he wasn’t there to view the performance and critique any issues with Tristan on the way back to Dalton, he’s unsure how they earned third place. Their songs were vocally stronger than Vocal Adrenaline’s, albeit not as tight. And apparently Sue’s insistence of sticking to the twelve-man rule was thrown out the window, even if New Directions had a fantastic showing. With Kitty back in the club--and he’s so glad for her, she needs something other than the Cheerios, has since the disbanding--he knows her attitude and voice are going to be a power for them when sectionals come. Combined with the kid who sang George Michael, and Jane’s prowess that he saw weeks ago, it’s something to worry about.

Blaine doesn’t want to be viewed by the Dalton administration as a failure. He took the job knowing they would evaluate the Warblers’ progression throughout the school year, and coming in last is not a good sign for them. He’s disheartened, and he needs to start from square one on the best potential set list for sectionals.

Truthfully, though, the Warblers are the least of his worries, because he still needs to come to terms with everything that happened in the “elevator”.

He and Kurt made the most of what they could do, and it felt--good. Great. Blaine can’t recall when they last felt relaxed around each other. It may have been in the early weeks after he moved to New York, when they relished in the fact that they were living together and getting married.

On second thought, it may have been all the way back before Kurt graduated from McKinley. And Blaine now realizes how unhealthy their reconciliation was. Jumping back in where they left off--no, ahead of that, _engaged_ \--without fully discussing the repercussions of how they fell apart? It shouldn’t have happened. Blaine was blinded by his love for Kurt, the love that he assumed would be a part of him for the rest of his life.

But the kiss…

It should have been innocent. A small peck should have done, a second at most. Yet as soon as their lips met, Blaine felt transported back to the first time they did that, in another secluded room at another school. Every feeling, every spark that he’s suppressed since the night Kurt broke him so severely came rushing back in a matter of seconds, and he knows it now. He knows the truth that he’s tried so hard to deny over the past few weeks.

Blaine Anderson will always be in love with Kurt Hummel, and no amount of time or men will ever diminish those feelings.

He sobs out as he crouches down under the stream of water. His now-clean hair drips down his forehead, dark ringlets sticking to the skin. Blaine hates this. He can’t go back to how things were before. He can’t base his entire life around Kurt. He can’t break Dave’s heart so quickly.

Dave. His boyfriend. His roommate. Someone who he thoroughly enjoys to spend time with. But he isn’t the one. He can never be the one. That position will only be held by one person.

Blaine rubs his eyes and stands back up to wash the remnants of the past 24 hours off his body. He needs to plan how to do this with no repercussions. Since Blaine needed a place to live, he figures he’ll be the one who stays in the apartment, and he can probably dip into his college fund to make up the lost rent. He’ll also have to avoid Scandals for as long as he remains in Lima so he doesn’t run into Dave or his hookups. Then he’ll have to talk to Kurt, actually talk to him and determine if they can do this, legitimately, and handle their problems as they happen.

He hears a knock on the bathroom door. “Blaine? You okay?”

If Dave’s home, that must mean it’s close to dinnertime. “Yeah,” he calls out, clearing his throat of the scratchy post-crying feeling it’s giving off. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Blaine quickly rinses off and turns the water off. He towels his body dry before wrapping it around his lower body, letting his hair dry enough so it doesn’t become a frizzy mess. He unlocks the door and steps into the hallway, making his way towards the living room where Dave’s reclining on the couch.

Dave stands up and runs towards Blaine, pulling him into a hug. “God, you had me so worried,” he says. “Why didn’t you answer your texts?”

 _Because Sue Sylvester and her warped mind thought creating a fake elevator and locking me in with my ex-fiance and without my phone was a fantastic idea,_ he thinks. “I had a bonding night with the Warblers,” he fibs, “since we took over the gym to sleep in, and by this morning when I meant to reply my phone was dead. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, as long as you’re okay, that’s what matters.” Dave runs one hand up and down the small of Blaine’s back. “So how about we order in for dinner? Breadstix sound good? I’ve been craving some fettucine alfredo for days.”

Blaine flinches out of Dave’s hold as he hears the words. “You know, I think I’m just going to lie down. It’s been a long few days and I’m still processing everything.”

“Oh, okay. How did you guys do, anyway?”

“We came in last,” Blaine says, chagrined.

“Wow, I’m sorry about that,” Dave replies. “Do you need anything?”

He shakes his head. “Just some space? I’m sorry, Dave, but the results kind of brought me down. I promise I’ll be better soon, just not tonight.”

“Okay.” Dave leans in and kisses Blaine on the cheek. “You know how much I understand about mental health. Take it easy, okay?”

“Of course I will,” Blaine says with a small smile. He retreats to their bedroom and closes the door. Once he unwraps the towel and slips into some silk pajama bottoms and his old Dalton hoodie, he climbs into bed and closes his eyes.

It might take some time to go through with this, but he knows the moment is coming. His soul has found the fix he needs in the one who brought him down in the first place.


	6. What the World Needs Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cracks are growing, and only one person can make it better.

Blaine tightens his tie and pockets his wallet and phone before strolling out of the bedroom. He knows he’s running behind schedule, but hopefully he’ll have enough time to bring something to thank Will and Emma for their hospitality. Dave is seated at their desk poring over his Anatomy & Physiology textbook in preparation for his midterm next week. “I’m heading out,” Blaine says, startling Dave’s concentration. “I’ll call you if it starts getting late, though I’m thinking they’ll want to put Daniel down at a decent time.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Dave inquires, crossing his arms across his broad chest.

“To Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury’s home. They’re throwing a small engagement party for Santana and Brittany tonight. I thought I told you about that?”

Dave scoffs. “Without me?”

“It’s just for current and former New Directions members,” Blaine replies.

“I’m one, technically. Mr. Schuester forced the football team to join in on this crazy-ass halftime show for one game.” Dave stands up. “Let me get my jacket.”

Blaine bites his lip to refrain from saying he knows about the performance, that he was in the stands with the Hummels that night. “Dave, you’re busy with school and everything, and I know you weren’t exactly on the glee club’s VIP list for performances.”

“So? They can’t have me around?”

“It’s just--it’s really important we keep it to just the group. Santana’s grandmother rejected her wedding invitation, and we’re just trying to make her feel better with a lighthearted get-together.”

Dave pauses, halfway to their coat closet, and turns around. “Blaine, what the hell is going on?” he asks abruptly.

“What do you mean?” Blaine shrugs, not understanding the question.

“Ever since that invitational, or whatever, you’ve been so--I don’t know, distant, I guess. We haven’t been gone on a date in two weeks, and now you’re running off to spend time with all your friends, the same as you’ve been doing after you finished with work every day this week. A group that includes, of all people, your ex-fiance.”

His heart jumps at the mention of Kurt, and god. Everything is still a mess while he tries to accept everything his heart is yearning for. “So because Kurt happens to be involved, I shouldn’t go over there?” he asks. “Sam and Rachel are two of my best friends as well, and I want to see them. And then there’s Mercedes, Artie, Santana, and Brittany, who all live out of state and I don’t get to see as much. Plus the current New Directions...I spent a year singing with Kitty, and I tried so hard to get Jane into the Warblers. And the new guys in the group are all great as I’ve spent the week getting to know them.

“They’re my family, Dave.” Blaine slides past Dave to pull a jacket out of the closet. “I promise when you’re finished with this test I’ll take you out to Breadstix and whatever movie you’re interested in. I’m sorry if you feel I’ve been avoiding you, but between Dalton, and my appointments with my therapist, and everything at McKinley I haven’t had much of a chance to breathe.”

Dave rolls his eyes and storms towards their bedroom. “Whatever. Go have a good time. Tell Evans I said hey, at least.”

Blaine waits for the door to slam before he huffs out in anger. They haven’t been fighting, per se, but ever since the elevator there have been little things. Disagreements that linger through the evening. Blaine’s avoidance of being home. Dave’s sloppy living--he keeps things clean, for the most part, but a few articles of clothing that missed the hamper and a half-drunk glass or orange juice left on the counter have irked Blaine. He doesn’t know if it’s the reality of living together or the mess of opening himself back up to Kurt that have caused things to become strained.

He grabs his keys and walks out of the apartment. As he gets in his car, he shoots a text off to Sam (the safer option) that he’s going to miss dinner, but he’ll get to the Schuesters’ as soon as he can.

He decides to take the back roads back to Lima, to give his mind some time to clear from the mess. The last thing Santana and Brittany need after the mess with Senora Lopez is someone to rain on what’s supposed to be a celebration of their love, a statement that all that matters is how you give your heart to someone, be it a man or a woman. It’s something Blaine knows all too well, as he gave his heart to a man four years ago.

There’s a small grocery on the outskirts of Lima, and Blaine decides to stop in and pick up a small token to thank Will and Emma for their hospitality. The party trays and dessert selections are underwhelming, and as educators they don’t want to liquor up the students, so he sticks to a bottle of sparkling cider, thanking the cashier as he bags it up and continues on his drive.

Blaine ends up having to park a building over from theirs, as everyone has already arrived as expected. He locks his car up and heads across the parking lot, into their building, and up the stairs before stopping in front of apartment 203. He knocks loudly, hoping he can be heard over the music and laughter that bleed through the thin cracks of the door jamb.

Someone does answer, and Blaine comes face to face with Kurt. “Hey,” Kurt says.

“Hi,” Blaine smiles--genuinely smiles, for the first time in days. His reflexes automatically reach towards Kurt and they embrace. “How are you?”

“I’m great,” Kurt replies, his face more open and calm than Blaine remembers seeing in ages. He closes the door and joins Blaine in the kitchen. “Do you want some cheesecake? Apparently Mason and Madison’s mom is a huge baker, so she sent them here with one. It’s caramel.”

“Sounds great,” Blaine says. He takes the piece Kurt slices, a fork and napkin, and heads to the sitting area to join his friends in celebration.


	7. Transitioning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows he's ready, but it still hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is short, but being Glee night I wanted to get it out early enough today. So, Blam it is (with Hummelberry in Back to You, if you follow that story as well).

Blaine grins as he pulls into the lot of the pancake house, seeing Sam’s truck already parked towards the end of the building. They’re already bustling with families stopping in for breakfast after church, and he has to pull around to the side where there are a few remaining spots open. He shifts into park, shuts off the engine, and unbuckles himself, feeling a little more free than he has in recent weeks.

As he enters the restaurant, he spots Sam in a booth near the kitchen. Blaine strolls up to him. “Hey, sorry I’m late,” he says as he slides into the other side. “You haven’t been waiting too long, have you?”

Sam looks up and shakes his head, smiling. “Nah, I’ve only been here a couple minutes. I knew you wouldn’t blow me off, so it’s cool.”

“Great.” The server arrives with a carafe and two mugs, setting them down on the table. Blaine pours a cup of coffee, adding a packet of sweetener in--just enough to wake up his palate. Sam gives his order, and the server turns back to Blaine. “I’ll have a harvest omelette with a side of turkey bacon, not crispy, please,” he says, handing the menu back without glancing at it.

“Be a little more creative, why don’t you,” Sam teases. “Maybe we should find you some cronuts or something.”

“Just because not everyone has rock-hard abs like you doesn’t mean I should give in to something sweet, you know.”

“Are you staring at my body again? Is Dave aware of your past interest?”

He freezes at the mention of Dave. “I...I don’t think he’d mind if I fantasized about you. Hypothetically, of course. That ship sailed after living with you for eight months.”

“Oh,” Sam says. “You’ve told him, though? And he doesn’t mind?”

Blaine sighs and take a sip of his coffee. “No, I didn’t tell him, and he wouldn’t mind anyway because we’re no longer together.”

 

“Wait, what?” Sam pauses in the middle of bringing his glass of orange juice to his lips. “What happened? You guys were doing so well. I mean, god, you’re living together, even. What are you guys going to do about that?”

“We weren’t, though. There were a lot of…” He doesn’t want to say it’s because of Kurt. Admitting it to someone else will just reaffirm everything he doesn’t want to think about. “We just realized we went too fast too soon,” he says. “He said he’ll move out, but it won’t really be until next weekend since everything’s a mess. He’s going to stay with a friend until then, and pick up his things as he has time and necessity to.”

They talked, after Blaine’s failed attempt at telling Kurt. He’s mostly grateful that they’re ending things on good terms. Dave understands that, had Kurt never even returned to Lima, he’d still have to compete with Blaine’s lingering feelings that would not diminish. They were never going to be that great love Blaine’s always dreamed of, the one he’s lived over the past four years. It’s as much a breath of fresh air that Dave gets it as it is terrifying that Blaine maybe, possibly, lost his chance to open up to Kurt.

Sam flashes him a sad smile. “I’m sorry, man,” he says. “I must say, though, you’re much more pulled together than you were the last two times.”

Blaine wants to laugh. Of course he’s pulled together, because Dave isn’t Kurt. “Thanks,” he replies. He reaches for the coffeepot to refill his cup. “Can we change the subject, though? How was the date yesterday?”

“Are you asking how going out with Rachel was or how Walter was?”

And of course Sam can read Blaine like that. “I meant Rachel,” Blaine says curtly.

“We had a really good time.” Sam sips his juice. “It’s hard, though, because I have to compete with Finn and all.”

 

“Do you think she’s the one?”

“It’s too early to really say…” he trails off. Blaine knows, though. Sam’s candle for Mercedes burns as strongly as his own for Kurt, and Rachel will most likely never find anyone who brought her the warmth, comfort, and love that Finn did.

“Walter is a good guy, by the way,” Sam adds, “because I know you’re still wondering.”

“I was not,” Blaine lies.

“Blaine, you’re watching the love of your life date a guy old enough to be your dad, I get it. Just like I get that Kurt is most likely the reason you and Dave broke up. I’m your best friend, man, you don’t need to hide that all from me.” He balls up the discarded wrapper from his straw and throws it at Blaine, hitting his cheek. “You two are meant to be. Don’t give up on him.”

“I know,” he sighs, slowly dipping the teaspoon into his cup and swirling the rich brown liquid around. “I hate this. I’ve spent months convincing myself that I can do fine without relying on Kurt, and the first moment I can run back…”

“But you won’t be,” Sam interrupts. “You’ve grown a hell of a lot since you came back to Lima. Trust me, I’ve seen it and I admire it. You’re your own man now, and you can do that in a relationship. Follow your own path with Kurt by your side.”

Blaine smiles. “Thanks, Sam.” As the server arrives with their meals, he almost drools over Sam’s gigantic stack of French toast. “Can I have a bite of that?” he asks as he starts cutting up his omelette and bacon.

“I knew you’d change your mind,” Sam laughs, holding a syrup-laden bite across the table.


	8. A Wedding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home never felt so right as it does now

Two mornings later, it still feels like a dream.

Blaine doesn’t want to open his eyes and ruin everything, find out that it is entirely a figment of his imagination. He’s going to discover the warm arms around him are Dave’s, and everything about their breakup never happened.

But these arms are much slimmer, firmer, _familiar_ to Blaine. His left thumb slides across his palm and hits metal on a finger, and his breath catches.

The memories flood right into his mind. Kurt dropping to one knee as soon as Blaine said he wanted to go through with the wedding. Their first dance as Rachel tearily sang “Lovesong” for the newlywed couples (Santana’s choice, though he couldn’t think of a more fitting tune). Burt pulling them aside and saying he and Carole would switch rooms with them at the hotel so they could enjoy their wedding night in something other than a double bed (a conversation that mortified Blaine, as this shouldn’t be the first thing they discussed after becoming their son-in-law). Driving back to Lima the next afternoon, after even more well-wishes from their friends and the current New Directions, and dinner with the Hummels and his mother, listening to all their stories about how the first years of marriage are the most surprising, painful, and worthwhile. Helping Kurt pack up enough of his wardrobe to last a few days before he has a chance to bring more things over to Blaine’s-- _their_ \--apartment. Tumbling into bed and only having the energy for a few slow, lazy kisses before Blaine felt himself dozing off.

He starts to peel the covers off to get out of bed and start breakfast, as always, until he freezes up. The old Blaine, the one who worshipped Kurt day in and day out, the one who would do anything to make the love of his life happy, is no more. He and Amy have discussed why his behavior was detrimental to the relationship. Giving Kurt a chance to breathe and not be smothered by three homemade meals and hours together every day is the better option. Blaine knows now, more than ever, that Kurt cannot and will not fall out of love with him. It’s impossible, if the last six months have anything to say.

Kurt begins to stir, steel blue peeking through slitted eyelids and locking in on Blaine’s gaze. A warm smile spreads across his face. “Morning, husband,” he says, voice scratchy with the remnants of sleep.

“Mm, never stop saying that,” Blaine replies as he leans in for a kiss.

“What? Morning?”

“No, the other part.”

“That’s what I figured.” Kurt reaches a hand up and caresses the stubbly skin of Blaine’s cheek. “Have you been up long?”

“A few minutes,” Blaine says. “I was talking myself out of making breakfast.”

Kurt’s face turns. “Oh. I was looking forward to waffles in bed,” he pouts.

“Really?”

“Of course! Our first married breakfast, since we slept in too late yesterday.”

Blaine chuckles. “Well, we only went to bed at 5:30 and woke up with half an hour to spare before checkout.”

“What a night.”

“Absolutely.”

“You should still make the waffles.”

“Kurt…”

“What?” Kurt asks. He looks Blaine up and down before sighing. “You’re holding back, aren’t you?”

“I don’t want to smother you like I did last time,” he says.

“And you aren’t going to. You’ve grown so much since we broke up this time. I can see it in your eyes, your smile, your posture. I’ve always thought you were so grown up before, but now you really are, even if it’s something that’s my fault.

“I don’t mind the occasional breakfast in bed, Blaine,” Kurt continues. “And who knows, maybe some mornings I’ll be able to return the favor?”

“That would be wonderful,” Blaine smiles.

Kurt nods and takes Blaine’s hand, thumbing over the ring. “We do need to have a talk, though, about expectations. And making sure we talk when one of us has a problem. And what you’re going to do when I go back to NYADA next fall.”

Blaine’s eyes widen. “Well, I figured I’d be going with you,” he says.

“Of course you are, honey, I wouldn’t expect any less.” Kurt smiles and leans up for another kiss, soft and supportive. “I meant what are you going to do about your future? Your dream is still the stage, right?”

“Always.”

“Okay, good. I didn’t know if helping the Warblers meant you wanted to change career paths.”

“Kurt, teaching has been such a breath of fresh air for me,” Blaine says, “but I could never, ever let you take on Broadway by yourself. I’ll be right up there with you.”

Kurt nods. Blaine can see a lone tear escape from his eye. “Tisch would love to have you,” he says.

“I would love for them to have me, too.”

“Do you have an application yet? I don’t know that they’d still have your one from two years ago on file. Oh, and audition material, we need to figure that out, too!”

As Kurt reaches for Blaine’s laptop on the nightstand, Blaine stops him. “Hey, hey, hey, hold up. I thought we were going to discuss this tonight?”

“Oh, yeah.” Kurt pulls back and sits up. “I guess I’m trying to run things again. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Blaine says soothingly. “We both said we’re works in progress, remember? It’s going to take some time for us to get everything right.”

“Of course,” Kurt replies. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he smiles. He looks at the clock and realizes it’s after 7. “So, how about those waffles before we become rival showchoir teachers again?”

Kurt laughs, and it’s a sound that Blaine missed so much. “Oh my god, what is the headmaster going to say when you walk in and tell him you got married?”

“He’ll probably ask why it took us four years to do so.” Blaine kisses Kurt again, lingering for a second before he gets out of bed. “Thank you,” he whispers.

“For what?” Kurt asks.

“For making my dream come true.”

“I’m going to keep doing that, too.”


	9. Child Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine breaks the news to his therapist, with some help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because there really wasn't anything to work with, I had to find my way around this update. Here you go!

Blaine walks into Amy’s office with a huge smile on his face. “Good afternoon,” he sings out, closing the door to the waiting room behind him.

“Hi, Blaine!” she greets him. “Well, somebody’s in a good mood today.”

“It’s been a good few weeks.” He takes his perch on the couch as she gathers his file and moves from her desk to the armchair. “Very good, in fact.”

“This is an interesting turn of events. Our last meeting you were so conflicted after your breakup.”

How has it only been two weeks since Dave sparked everything, Blaine thinks? “Yeah, I’m sorry about missing my appointment last week. I was out of town.”

“That’s fine.” Amy crosses her ankles, light shining off the buckles of her Kate Spade pumps. “So, you and Dave ended things just before your friends were going to get married, and you were slightly worried if your own history of nearly getting married would get in the way of you enjoying the day and celebrating these two ladies. How did that all go?”

Blaine bites his lip for a second. “Actually, before I get into it, can I bring someone in here with me?” he asks.

Amy nods. “Of course, Blaine.”

“Great.” He jogs to the door, opens it, and motions to Kurt across the waiting area. “It’s okay,” he says.

Kurt gathers his things and makes his way to Blaine. “That was quick.”

“I think it’s easiest to do it now.” When Kurt walks in, he closes the door. “Amy, this is Kurt. Kurt, my psychiatrist, Amy Wright.”

“Oh, wow.” She stands to greet Kurt, who towers over her petite frame. “It’s wonderful to meet you,” she says, shaking his hand.

“You too,” Kurt replies. “Blaine says you’ve done wonders to help him, not just this time but before.”

“I’m only doing my job,” Amy chuckles. Kurt takes a seat next to Blaine, but leaving some distance to not give away their surprise. “So, Blaine, shall we continue?”

He smiles. “Of course. So, Santana and Brittany’s wedding. I couldn’t drive out to Indiana to help with getting everything set up, as the Warblers had a scheduled performance I couldn’t get out of. I really was okay with attending stag, since all I’d be doing would be standing up for them with all of our friends. But Kurt…” he looks at his husband, still enamored. “Kurt threw a bone into everything.”

“And that was?”

“He ran, literally, to my apartment to declare his love for me.”

As much as Blaine knows Amy tries to keep her emotions out of their appointments, he notices a faint smile on her face as she writes in her ledger. “And I take it, as you were no longer with Dave, that you accepted said declaration?”

Blaine nods. “I know you and I have talked a little about it, but there is nothing in the world I will ever love more than this man.” Kurt reaches his hand across and sets it over Blaine’s in the center. “We kissed, and I felt everything fall back into place. He’s the love of my life.”

“And Blaine is mine,” Kurt adds.

“Well, I must congratulate you two,” Amy says. “But, after two breakups, are you committed to making your relationship work? You’re young, and you’ve been through so much in your lives already. Things are going to be tough no matter what, and you have to make sure you can see each other eye to eye.”

“We really are,” Blaine says, smiling at Kurt. “This is it.”

“Wonderful. And you two attended the wedding together, then?”

“Well, you can say that.”

Amy drops her notebook into her lap. “Blaine, what does that mean?”

He chuckles. “About an hour before the ceremony, Coach Sylvester asked us to join her in one of the bride’s dressing room. Brittany, as it turned out, had only one wish for her wedding, and that was...well, it was for us to marry at the same time.”

“Your friend Brittany has quite an active imagination,” she laughs. “What did you say to that?”

“At first I thought it was insane--you really have to meet Brittany, she’s one of a kind. But she went to all these lengths, she bought tuxes and rings for us, she got Santana to go along with it. And Santana is one person who craves being the center of attention, so to share her wedding day with us is huge.”

“You two...you didn’t, did you?”

Blaine slides his hand from Kurt’s grasp to flash his ring. “Surprise?” he says.

Amy’s jaw drops as Kurt shows off the matching band. “I’m speechless. What made you decide to do it?”

“I knew I wanted to marry Kurt two months into our relationship, when I watched him stand up to everyone who decided to play a prank. For us, it was never a question of if, but when. We knew the idea was insane, but…” He scoots closer to Kurt and wraps his arm around his shoulders. Kurt smiles, and brings his left hand up to meet Blaine’s left. “When you know, you know,” Blaine continues with a smile. “I proposed right after our first reunion, so it’s not that far out of line.”

“Blaine, Kurt, I must say I’m both astounded and proud. It’s an extremely hasty decision, but it sounds like one that deep down you knew was the right answer. My husband and I dated for ten years before we even got engaged, so I’m more used to the lengthy road.” She slips the glasses off of her face and into her lap. “This means you will need to make an even greater commitment to each other. Breaking up again is now going to be a lengthy, expensive process that nobody wants to deal with.”

“We know,” Blaine nods. “We’re fully prepared to handle our marriage.”

“In fact,” Kurt adds, “we were wondering if you’d be interested in a few couples counseling sessions so we can understand each other more and discover ways to cope with the things that brought us down before? I can give you my therapist in New York’s email if you want to see how well of a patient I am.”

“I would be delighted to,” Amy says. “That is an excellent idea, and all I’ll really need is your insurance card.”

“Okay.”

“So, moving on...how did your parents and friends take the news?”

Blaine feels more comfortable than ever as he burrows into Kurt’s side. “They supported us all the way, just as we’d expected.”


	10. The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help comes in all forms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness. I struggled coming up with something. And if you missed it, I actually updated Back to You on Sunday, so that's why only this one is being done now.
> 
> Additionally, I can't guarantee that the stories for 6x11 will be up before the finale. I have an insane week with three tests to take no later than Wednesday, and they're for the two classes I need to pass to get into my major. Hopefully they'll be ready next Thursday, but we'll see.

He promises to everyone--Kurt, Rachel, Will, the New Directions, the Warblers--that he’ll have the outfits sorted over the weekend.

He then employs Kitty to help. “Out of everyone in the two groups, your opinion is the one I can trust the most.”

She laughs. “You’ve spent what, three months with those uptight, blazer-wearing brats, and you choose me?”

“Three months compared to a two-year friendship,” Blaine says.

“Oh, we’re friends now?”

“And I know your days are now open with the Cheerios in limbo until they hire a new coach.”

“I wonder if Carmel’s cheerleading squad is as important as Vocal Adrenaline,” Kitty muses. Blaine stops and gapes at her before she starts laughing. “Please, I’m glad for the broken ties to Coach Sylvester. And their lead is too boneheaded for my tastes.” She agrees, though, and then convinces Spencer to join them for a male student’s opinion.

Saturday finds Blaine driving them across western Ohio determined to find the perfect combination. It has to fit Dalton’s aesthetics and tradition, but not disparage the unique qualities McKinley has always brought to the table. It has to work for a variety of sizes from Roderick (“Hey, he’s lost ten pounds already!” Spencer quips) to Myron (“Not that the demon child needs anything other than a straightjacket…”), and still look good on Kitty, Madison, and Jane.

As Kitty tries on the sixth shade of red they’ve come across, at a tailor’s shop in Findlay, Spencer busies himself on the phone. “You okay?” Blaine asks him.

“Oh, yeah,” Spencer nods. “Alistair was just asking if I wanted to come over and watch Guardians of the Galaxy later.”

And Blaine is suddenly swept back to those early days of his relationship with Kurt, when a movie at home meant more. “That sounds pretty serious,” he says.

“I mean, we’re not, like, officially dating or anything. I don’t even know how that would work without getting boring. Like, go to Breadstix every weekend? Get a fake ID and sneak into Scandals? Hope that our parents leave one of us alone for the night? He has two younger brothers, and my sister has no life and is always at home, so there’s no privacy at all.” Spencer plops down into a chair next to the fitting room. “How did you and Mr. Hummel, or whatever you two are going by now, do it?”

“It was tricky,” Blaine answers. “But honestly, I relished the chance to just spend time with Kurt, no matter what our activities entailed. We took a lot of day trips to Dayton, Columbus, or Toledo for anything that was going on, and sometimes...sometimes, just to be in a place that is more accepting than Lima.

“Things have changed a little around here, but I’m not going to act like it’s been so long since Kurt and I were teenagers. It’s still dangerous, and still scary. Hell, Kurt was actually attacked in New York.”

“Seriously?” Spencer turns pale. “Jesus,” he exhales, dropping his head into his hands.

Blaine nods. “It hurt to see him like that, more than when it happened to me.”

The door to Kitty’s fitting room opens and she steps out, interrupting them. “Sorry, my lovely gays, but I think it’s time for your opinion on this.” The blazer fits her perfectly over her thin chiffon top, and the gray skirt they paired with it, after a bit of tailoring, works. “Could I pass for a Catholic school girl?” she smirks.

Blaine chuckles and smiles. “Your sex life notwithstanding, I think this works.”

“Yeah,” Spencer nods. “You look good--you know, if I were straight.”

Kitty preens and twirls around. “Are you going to keep this plain? Or, god forbid, a huge navy D will be embroidered on, won’t it?”

“No, you’re right, we need some insignia. We should think of a design.”

“Let me work on it? You can pay for the patches and whatever, but I think I know what can be done.”

“Do you trust her?” Spencer whispers to Blaine.

“More than I would have two years ago,” he replies.

Blaine is set to show the blazers to his colleagues on Monday, and he gets Kitty out of her government class to come to the choir room and show it off. She closes off the office to change, and then steps out, a white patch now emblazoned on the left side. “What do you guys think?”

“I like it,” Will nods. “Is there a meaning here?”

“Yeah. I Skyped with Tina that night and went back to the tailor yesterday with the idea. We thought a treble clef would be the perfect logo, in honor of Finn.”

Rachel’s hands fly up to her face, and Blaine knows she’s going to tear up in a second. “Oh, wow,” she says.

Kurt turns to Blaine and circles his arms around Blaine’s bicep. “I love it,” he whispers, kissing Blaine’s temple. “And I think everyone else will as well. You two could totally go into design.”

“I think we’ll leave that to you,” he chuckles.

“Okay, and I’m going to change back before the newlyweds make me barf all over this,” Kitty says. She turns back to the office, then stops. “Unless I can pull Myron’s uniform out?”

“No!” everyone shouts.


	11. We Built This Glee Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to look ahead, but never forget the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See chapter 11 of Back to You for my comments.

Compared to New York, the commute home from school now is hundreds of times better. No hordes of passengers bumping into one of them in a hurry to move on from their work days, no broken down trains that could easily stop underneath the river, no bums passed out in the stairwells. It’s just Blaine, Kurt, and a simple car ride from McKinley to the apartment.

"Have you thought about where we should live next fall?" Kurt asks as Blaine coasts down the interstate towards the border of Allen and Auglaize Counties. "I know the loft is great and all, and the subletters are only staying until May, but is that where you want to live?"

Truth be told, Blaine has barely thought ahead past where they want to spend Thanksgiving. "I don't know," he replies, flipping on his turn signal to pass a semi. The acceptance letter is lying on his desk, and he's looked at it every morning since it arrived to make sure it's happening.

"Well, I think Rachel's planning on moving back in, so we should decide pretty soon what to do. Do we really want to put up with her for another year or two? Does she really want to live with her married best friends, one of whom was the stepbrother of her lost soulmate?"

"I thought you were over the entire soulmate idea?" Blaine grins.

"I was until I realized I couldn't stay away from mine."

"Mmhmm. Must be a lucky guy."

"Very lucky, I'd say."

"I hope you aren't expecting anything in the next ten minutes or so."

"I wasn't at all, but now that you mention it..."

Kurt reaches across the console and begins stroking his hand up and down Blaine's thigh. The friction is still just enough to get him riled up, and he grips the steering wheel a bit tighter. "Okay, yeah, we should definitely find our own place and let Rachel keep the loft," he groans.

“I figured that’s what you would say.” He pulls away with a sly smirk. “Any neighborhood you have in mind?”

“I mean, it’s not like we can afford Upper East Side yet…”

“But do you want to stick to Brooklyn? Maybe we can find somewhere closer to our schools, like Hell’s Kitchen, Alphabet City…”

Blaine slows down as he approaches their exit, merging into the lane for the off-ramp. “We can live in a cardboard box in Central Park for all I care,” he says, “as long as we’re together.”

“And I’m supposed to use my interior design skills on brown? And find things that are waterproof at the same time?”

“I’ve seen your work, I have trust in you.” He turns once a minivan clears his path. “We can stay in Bushwick, be near enough to Rachel. After working with her this year, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to fully get away.”

“True enough,” Kurt says.

Things go quiet as Blaine nears their temporary home. It’s hard to think of New York right now. That first year--he wishes he could banish all memories of it from his mind. He could start anew, from the moment he stepped out of his dad’s sedan when they pulled up to the loft and he grimaced at how not up-to-Anderson-standards the place was. He never cared; he had everything he ever needed. He just didn’t know how to properly care for those things.

Blaine has come a long way in a few short months. Amy is thrilled with his progress, especially since the wedding and his commitment to making sure he and Kurt work things out when they go south. The super forces of the New Directions and the Warblers proved to be unbeatable at Sectionals last weekend. Things with his parents are good, and he hopes their separation makes their lives smoother than they’ve been the past several years. He’s definitely a different person than the broken shell that arrived back in Lima last June, and he’s growing stronger every day.

“You’re thinking too loudly again,” Kurt says. “What’s up?”

Blaine shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m just thinking about how things have changed.”

“Like what?”

“Like you coming back around.”

“Blaine, I never fell out of love with you.” Kurt reaches across and sets his hand on top of Blaine’s right, still positioned on the steering wheel. “We were young--we’re still young. Everything that was toxic between us is no more, because we’ve learned that we need to work, every single day for the rest of our lives, on making sure we communicate and are honest with each other. There’s no more pulling away when things get overwhelming, or acting like it’s all sunshine and rainbows in the middle of a downpour. There will be trouble, and we’ll survive it. I’m never saying goodbye to you, ever.”

Blaine chuckles at the old standby line. Those words have always struck a chord even when it was rough. “Never ever,” he says, turning into their apartment complex and pulling to a stop in front of the door. “Now, how about we continue the celebration from this afternoon, just the two of us?”


End file.
